Lately it seems like more and more people are in battles with people around them.  It may be co-workers, friends, family, or even stragners.  I have had more conversations about the strife and turmoil that so and so is causing them, and how they just want to get them back.  They want to retaliate, fire back, and hurt them just as mush as they have been hurt.  Oh how sweet revenge always sounds when we have been done wrong.  
In my last few blogs I have spoke on how you will not be everyone's cup of tea.  It is impossible to that everyone in your lifetime that you come into contact with will like you!  Hate to be the one to break it to you, but it is true.  It is also impossible that you will "click" with everyone, and them with you.  The first thing to remember... it is ok not to be everyone's cup of tea.  I also spoke about picking your battles wisely in my last blog.  This is another important point to remember when we are dealing with "difficult" people.  There are times when we need to fight for what is right, for what we believe in, and to stick up for ourselves.  However,  we should be very particular with what battles we choose so we do not waste valuable energy.  
If we all did the above, then the next step is to not hold a grudge.  To me, this was always the hardest part when dealing with battles in my life.  I learned to just walk away or keep silent pretty quickly, but to not hold a grudge...that was quite a bit more difficult.  I thought that since I took the high road and did not react to other people's advances I was done.  I thought I did well just biting my tongue, and not lashing out like I wanted to.  That was good, but the next (and most important) step is to not hold a grudge!  I just wrote people off.  I would no longer acknowledge them in my life.  To me, it was like the never existed.  I was not cruel or spoke ill of them, but I was still harboring negative feelings towards them.  That worked for a  little while, but what happens when you have to see them at family gatherings, work, or social settings? That is when it becomes complicated. I found myself stressed and uncomfortable in when these situations came up. I soon realized I was not over whatever had been done to me.   When we hold grudges we carry the weight of the pain and hurt.  It may sit silently for months, but then someone says the name of the person that treated you badly. Perhaps you see them months later and all of the same hate and bitterness comes back.  That is when you know you are holding a grudge, and not truly over it. 
When I realized this is what I was doing,I knew I had not forgiven them.  Forgiveness will bring peace in your spirit.  It will give you a sense of calmness in the midst of the storm.  Forgiveness will give you the power to not only be around those that have hurt you, but you will strive in those settings that once may have been awkward. Forgiving others gives you your power back!  They can no longer get a rise out of you.  Forgiveness allows you to be happy and able to achieve all your goals you have in life.  You are no longer wasting your time and energy on meaningless drama. Once you learn to forgive others, you gain a since of freedom that surpasses all understanding. 
​For me,  learning to forgive is a choice I must make with each situation that arises.  I am no master at this skill.  I must CHOOSE to forgive because it does not come naturally.  So please understand that I know it is not easy, and at times we will fail.  There are times where it is easier that others.  I can also say that the more you practice showing forgiveness, the easier (and more naturally) it will come in the future.  

Some of the  best advice I  have received is to pick my battles wisely!  There will be people who will mistreat, disagree with you, and straight up hate you for no real reason.  Learning this lesson early in life was such a blessing.  I learned not to take the hate personally.  I always do my best to self reflect in order to reassure that I have not done something to deserve such treatment.  Did I say or do something that offended them?  Did I fail them in some way?  Did not see a need, and help to meet it?  These are some of the questions that run in my mind.  Sometimes I do owe others an apology, and I give it.  However, others times cannot see where I hurt them.  I have even go so far as to ask some people what I had done, and when they could not even tell me I know the issue is not with me but with them.  
If I had not been taught to pick by battles wisely, then I would have exerted a vast amount of energy on a situation that has nothing to do with me.  If I had chosen to prove that I was right at all costs, then I would have wasted valuable resources.  Our time and energy are vital resources that no one can replace, so I choose to use mine wisely.  I refuse to waste one second of either on a situation or person that truly does not effect me.  I cannot control the way others think and feel about me.  However, I can control the way I react!  It is hard at times do be mistreated for other people's insecurities and assumptions.  There is no real basis for some people to feel the way they do.  They most likely are wrong in their negative treatment towards you.  In the end, none of that matters though.  You cannot worry about the why.  You can only choose to not involve yourself in the madness.  If they hate you for no real reason, then ask yourself what can you possibly do to change their minds?  The answer is nothing. When I started asking myself that question, it was easier to let it go!  My time and energy are better spent doing just about anything else.  Is it fair that you are mistreated?  Is it right that some will hate you simply because you exist?  Of course not, but at the end of everyday they will go home  and live with that hate/bitterness.  That is all they will have to keep them company.  If you make the choice to stay out of their battle, then you go home with peace and a sound mind.  It is up to you what you choose.  My only advice is to choose wisely!